I've hit that phase right after the postpartum has mostly ebbed where I'm just kind of low on energy and motivation. I'm not sure if it's something to do with hormones, iron deficiency, some kind of vitamin imbalance from not getting out much, sleep cycle issues, or a cocktail of all of them enough to cause paralysis of the will power. It's the phase where I just don't feel like getting up in the morning. I literally wait for the baby to start crying before I drag myself out and every day I think to myself that if I had gotten out of bed when I woke up I could have exercised, gotten some housework done, maybe had a shower. I give myself guilt over not getting going fast enough so the rest of the day seems to be rushed with me trying to catch up to the kids and the house that are ahead of me in the avalanche of life.
Some things I do to try and "fix" this are; taking vitamins, riding the exercise bicycle, working at some of my hobbies like scrapbooking and journal writing, setting goals, making lists, giving myself pep talks, praying, reading scriptures, and playing music I like. These usually do it for me but during this down phase they just don't have the same zip and it seems like so much more work than enjoyment to get to them. I am not sure if it's still part of the depression because one of the signs of depression is lack of interest in what you usually enjoy but this is less a lack of interest as a lack of time to get to them and hence a discouragement over that. In other words, I'm just so busy with the new baby and the work of life in general that I don't have time for me so I get discouraged and don't take time for me. Vicious cycle? Sort of.
I would much rather have this phase than the deep sadness and random crying jags with horrible fear of death or harming my kids phase that is what it is for about eight weeks after I have the baby. There's no fighting that phase. This phase has light and hope and moments of happiness in it that create a kind of balance if I can keep from becoming guilt ridden and discouraged. People that have never gone through real depression think this is what depression is but the real stuff, well, it's so... I don't know, there aren't words.
