Some Trials Seem So Heavy

I sat here thinking about what I wanted to say in this post and I started to type something about how a friend's baby with life-threatening birth defects makes my trials look small.  That's not exactly right.  My trials still seem large and take up so much space in my head and my life that I don't see around them sometimes.  It's different than that.  Thinking about my friend gets me past myself for a little while and gives me a clear opportunity to think of someone else and to pray for them and to love them a little bit more than I usually would.  See, Jamie Hoerler was a sweet girl I knew when I was a teenager in California.  She's younger than I am by about 5 years so she probably wouldn't have been on my radar very much if it hadn't been for her brother.  Jamie is married now and lives on the East Coast.  She just had a baby, Paul.  You can read more about Paul's challenges here - http://kjcarpenter.blogspot.com/  .  I've been fasting and praying for them.  I don't know what will happen with Paul, his condition is so serious that it's medically unlikely that he'll survive.  I can't even imagine what that's like for Jamie and her husband.  I know that they will have Paul as their son forever whether they have the opportunity to raise him in this life or will have to wait for when they are reunited in heaven.  God doesn't always give us what we want but he always gives us what we need.  It's hard to see God's perspective from where we are in life.  Trials break us down while at the same time giving us tremendous opportunity for growth.  I will keep praying for their miracle and I will keep asking God to give them comfort and peace, whatever he has in store for them.

John Stossel's - Illegal Everything

Here is a link to The 42 minute video on YouTube .
Stossel made so many good points in this video.  I watched it early this morning and then went to feed my kids breakfast afterwards.  I was thinking about the movie so I let my kids demonstrate some of the ideas for me by giving them some freedom in their breakfast choices.  They all chose a small handful of chocolate chips but they also wanted a banana, a glass of milk, and either oatmeal or toast.  No one went for the fruit loops, the lemonade, the Ritz crackers, the eggs, the cheese, or the spinach.  So maybe I didn't prove anything but it was interesting to me to see the choices they made.
More Americans really need to understand the main point of choice and accountability.  If all your choices are taken away you are basically responsible for nothing in your life.  You can't be held accountable and you don't have to make the mental effort of deciding anything.  I see so many people being herded along in life and they don't even know it.  Human being are meant to be challenged by choices and problems.  Our brains are too complicated and our spirits too strong to want to just submit to what's "safe" and "easy" for us.  I appreciate a good warning as much as the next guy but I don't want to be unable to try something where I feel the risk is acceptable.
I'm a reasonable person (as far as I can tell) and most of the time I try to make reasonable decisions.  While I have been to Nevada I have never gambled.  I am old enough to drink but I choose not to.  I have never wanted to smoke and have turned down offers of various 'smokables' over the years.  The only drugs I have ever taken were prescription and I took fewer than suggested (I don't even take the full dose of Tylenol).  I have tried rock climbing and bungee jumping and I loved both but now that I have kids I don't do either of them.  I don't want the government saving me from myself by legislation.  Rules are necessary for society but when even the enforcers can't figure out the rules there is something horribly wrong with they system.  There aren't enough police in the world to keep us all from eating donuts and bacon for breakfast, unless we let them.

Even Funeral Potatoes Make Me Cry

It may have just been chopping the onions.

Using my grandmother's recipe to make funeral potatoes for a funeral luncheon kind of gets to me.

It calls for most of a stick of butter.

My grandmother has been gone for about 12 years.

I don't remember who said it but I've heard my mother repeat the advice that 'a funeral deserves real butter'.

Real butter isn't a big thing these days.

I prefer to use real butter in my cooking anyway so I usually have some in the fridge.

I know there were times in my grandmother's life when it wasn't as easy for everyone to get real butter.

I remember a funeral my mother helped with when I was young where one of the servers wanted to make sure there was real butter on the tables and all the other women solemnly agreed; the moment stuck with me.

I don't think I was old enough to really understand there was a difference between butter and margarine at the time.

My family used margarine for most recipes when I was growing up.

Now I know there is a difference; butter is better for pretty much every recipe, it's more natural, better for you, and a bit more expensive.

Butter is higher quality.

So it's only a little thing, but yes, a funeral deserves real butter.

Hoarders?

I watched an episode of Hoarders, the show on A&E, for the first time.  I have heard a lot about this show but I don't have cable and I just don't watch much TV.  A month or so ago my sister showed me how to watch episodes of different programs on Hulu.  I watched one episode of the gypsy wedding show with my sister and found the program too disturbing to want to spend another hour of my life watching any more of it.  I hadn't gone back to Hulu since then.  I was rocking a cranky child to sleep and decided to pull up Hulu and see if there was anything interesting.  Hulu had episodes of Hoarders.  I've heard lots about the show and decided to watch something from the first season.  I learned two things from the experience.  First, my house is actually in pretty good shape even with five kids and a messy husband keeping me busy.  Second, Hoarders gives me nightmares.  I think maybe I shouldn't watch it anymore.

Kerfuffle

def. - distubance, fuss

Someone I know recently told me about a couple I know who are having some issues.  WHO ISN'T?  This person was witness to a certain kerfuffle.  They called me and then proceeded to trash one of the people involved in this kerfuffle.  *sigh*  I've never figured out the perfect definition of gossip but if it isn't nice and there's not a thing I can do about it then it's probably not worth passing on.  Right?  ugh.
I'm bothered by those times when there really is a way someone like me could help resolve the kerfuffle and we just don't know what to do or how to go about it.  I don't know what it is about me that makes it so hard to escape my "Born To Be Mild" issues.  Sometimes I complain, just a little, but mostly quietly, and I get so worried about getting involved I just don't do anything.  I guess what I'm saying is I'm pretty much useless in a kerfuffle.

Cinderella

     My kids have been watching Cinderella (among other princess movies) and I keep rewriting the story in my head.  Sometimes it comes out a bit more Jane Eyre, where the prince has his secrets, and poor naive Cinderella gets to grow up and find her way in life before the love of her life finds her.  Sometimes it's more true to life, where all they get is the ball, and then it's back to reality.  Possibly after the prince shows up post-ball he and Cinderella don't have much in common.  I love that Cinder Edna book, Disney should have made that one into a movie.  Unfortunately my husband hates tuna and won't eat it in any of my 16 recipes.
     Fairytales are lovely but it seems to me that nothing can live up to the ball.  It doesn't seem likely that Cinderella would get a chance at that kind of magical moment more than once (well, there's II, and III, but they went straight to DVD so even Disney knew they were reaching).  So when the fairy shows up to say "Hey, pay attention, this is your one big night, you're gonna have to live on this one for the rest of your life." It makes it sound a little like that show with the Gypsies who get married in the crazy dresses but at least they have one good memory to combat the statistics on the rest of their life.  I only watched one episode of that show but it really got to me.
     I think Cinderella could have lived her whole life happily with a glass slipper tucked away in the trunk in her room.  Of course, the glass slipper in the trunk and the marriage to an accountant who doesn't like tuna would have just made her dreadfully normal.  But who would buy a ticket to see that?

Unpacking

I read this quote on a photo on facebook.

I loved the quote but thought the picture was dumb.

Found my own pictures.

Did some photoshopping.

I have a favorite but I'm posting all four.

I didn't find an author for the quote, so if someone knows who it was, let me know.

This quote makes me miss Glade; unpacking over the internet just isn't the same...

Wildlife In The City

I've mentione before that we've lived in this house since 2003.  This is the first time I've seen animal tracks in my yard for anything beyond dogs, cats, and birds.  Last night it snowed and today the kids and I found some tracks in the backyard, around the side of the house, and to the front yard near the trash cans.  I'm a city kid so I Googled animal tracks which narrowed my options to raccoon or skunk.  Then I had to ask for help from my facebook friends to decide what the tracks were made by.  The verdict - RACCOON .
My four year-old has named it Wild Krat after the Krat brothers who do the TV shows on PBS.

Tracks with size-referencing materials ;o)

Tracks coming from under the back fence

Tired ~ Adele

I love Adele's songs.  When I hear her songs I think of the lines from Killing Me Softly -

Strumming my pain with his fingers

Singing my life with his words

  This one goes on repeat in my head all the time.  It's my favorite from the CD 19.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3RMO_MWZIg

This one, Someone Like You, well, it's my favorite from the CD 21 but it's made me do the ugly cry... I like the version on my CD better but here's a live performance:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qemWRToNYJY

Why I Love Country Music

Right now he's probably slow dancing
With a bleached-blond tramp
And she's probably getting frisky
Right now, he's probably buying
Her some fruity little drink
'Cause she can't shoot whiskey

Right now, he's probably up behind her
With a pool stick
Showing her how to shoot a combo
And he don't know

I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

Right now, she's probably up singing some
White-trash version of Shania karaoke
Right now, she's probably saying, "I'm drunk"
And he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky

Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars
Worth of that bathroom Polo
Oh and he don't know

That I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl
'Cause the next time that he cheats
Oh, you know it won't be on me!
No, not on me

'Cause I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Oh, maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
      Before He Cheats ~Songwriters: Tompkins, Chris; Kear, Josh

 
I finally asked you to dance on the last slow song
Beneath that moon that was really a disco ball
I can still feel my head on your shoulder
And hoping that song would never be over

I haven't seen you in ages
Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are
For me you'll always be eighteen and beautiful
And dancing away with my heart

I brushed your curls back so I could see your eyes
And the way you moved me was like you were reading my mind
I can still feel you lean in to kiss me
I can't help but wonder if you ever miss me

I haven't seen you in ages
Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are
For me you'll always be eighteen and beautiful
And dancing away with my heart

You headed off to college at the end of that summer
And we lost touch
I guess I didn't realize even at the moment we lost so much

I haven't seen you in ages
Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are
For me you'll always be eighteen and beautiful
And dancing away with my heart

~LADY ANTEBELLUM ~ Dancing Away With My Heart

Anonimizing

A friend of mine recently told me how unsafe blogging is if you use your real name or the real names of your kids, spouse, pets, etc.  I noticed a few of the people I follow use nicknames for all their family members.  Actually, this confuses me and I have to try and figure out which of their kids I'm reading about.  The ones who use initials are easier to figure out but still slow me down a bit.

I can barely remember my own kid's names some days.  There have been times when I was trying to get one of them to pay attention and after calling the same name multiple times I realize that isn't even the kid I'm talking to.  Scoff and scorn if you will, but frankly, keep it to yourself unless you've got five or more kids and have never had this problem.

I do call all my kids "shorty" as an ironic form of endearment since they all top the growth charts for height; but otherwise I don't really have nicknames for them.  I guess I could refer to them as Shorty 1 through Shorty 5 but that just seems... lame.

There is the option of making my blog private.  Again, my friends with private blogs are probably being much more responsible and safe.  However, a good part of the time I can't get into their blogs; and I know them and they invited me.  Those private blogs are not bookmark friendly so by the time I find the link and get past the security they've had three more kids, started a new business, and moved to Kansas.

Anyway, so life is unsecured.  The internet is unsecured.  If you're reading about my kids to come up with bad stuff you can use, or good stuff you can use for bad things... well, just log off right now and go find something better to do with your life because you know what goes around comes around.

Thursday Already!

We interrupt this blog to bring you TAX SEASON.

Yeah, I have no time to do much of anything, my farmville hasn't been farmed in almost 2 weeks and my house looks like my kids are running it; mostly because my kids are running it.  I get as much done every day as I can and just try and take it as it comes.  Jared leaves by 8am and comes home around 7pm but goes quickly down to his office to work.  People show up at random hours to hand me envelopes or files or shoe boxes full of financial "stuff" to pass on to my husband.  The other day a guy was here until close to midnight working on his taxes with my husband.  The kids are all desperate for daddy's attention but he is so busy and distracted they just don't get to see him much.
I've only made it through 30 pages of my latest book in the last two weeks.  I need my book time to stay sane but like everything else around here it has to be sacrificed until April 15th when we all breathe a collective sigh of relief and drive over to the post office to get a free donut at the expense of the people still trying to file on the last day.  When I was a kid it was a yearly ritual on April 15th to go to the post office next door to our apartment complex and watch the line of cars reach epic proportions.  Funny stuff.

So, for Monday I will just say the baby has picked a terrific time to start crawling.  Now she's a menace and a hazard and I'm having to watch the 2 and 3 year old like a hawk to make sure they don't scatter small toys (today it was Hungry Hippo marbles) all over the floor where the baby is playing.  I swear it's like passive aggressive attempts to kill their little sister sometimes.

Tuesday can be covered by my attempt to make Hawaiian Haystacks.  My kids have eaten these at a friend's house and they are served at the school for lunch occasionally.  I think I've eaten them once or twice in my life.  Krista wanted to have them for dinner so I took a shot at it.  They tasted really good and everyone ate them but I was informed I didn't get the sauce/gravy right.  I just used cream of chicken soup so it must need something else as well.  Topped them with baked chicken bits, shredded cheese, diced tomatoes, diced celery, grilled mushrooms, and ... those onion things ... my mind is drawing a blank, the dried onion things for the top of green bean casserole at Thanksgiving?  They come in a can... I like the cheese flavor.... FRENCH'S! , that's right, those things deserve a posting of their own.  Maybe I'll look up recipes for the sauce but I could have sworn it was just soup without enough water added so it's kinda thick.

Wednesday's word is meatatarian, my kids were using it before the funny Wendy's commercial.  They use it to mean omnivore (eats both meat and vegetables) as opposed to carnivore (eats meat) or herbivore (eats plants).  The commercial uses it to mean carnivore but the guy is holding a hamburger with a bun.  T-Rex never used a bun.

Today I have been thinking about how I didn't get my blog entries written and since the baby is asleep and April and Andrew are both zoning in front of the TV for a few minutes I'm using my precious "free time" to blog.  I've been doing a bunch of yard work at my house and at Mom's so I need to take a few pictures...  SHOOT!  Now I think of before and after pictures!  Well, there are still some spots in the before stage but I'll have to just post afters for the rest.  My tulips are up but not blooming.  I've spent a few hours trying to kill the grapevine again this year.  Bane of my existence type plant that doesn't grow grapes and takes over the entire east side of the house.  It covers the fence, heads out into the lawn, and climbs the pine tree, pulling the branches down in the process.  It does turn a pretty color for a week or two in the fall before the leaves all fall off, but the rest of the year my neighbor across the fence and I fight it with my special gardening tools; the gardening hacksaw, the gardening hatchet, and the gardening prybar.  Did I mention it is rooted under a very large, very sturdy double fence that neither my neighbor or I want to take out to get rid of the grapevine because it would be a ton of work and expense?  Yeah, so there's all these vines up between the two sides of the fence slats, under the fence, and all over the place and it's like some B Movie with Attack of the Killer Vines going on every year as the vines grow like a foot a week.  At least I can take out some of my tax season frustration on plant-killing.  Some fight back, ha ha, I completely landed on my back in the road today after pulling out one of my "spikey bushes" (maybe a reader can help me with a name for this thing, I'll get a picture) that was overgrown across the sidewalk.  I was pulling really hard and when the piece gave way suddenly I completely biffed it onto my backside.  I don't think any of the neighbors saw my momentary lack of gardening dignity, thank goodness.  Flat on my back in the road holding my prize and laughing at what would have been a great AFV moment.

If my sister sends me the pictures I took with Mom's camera I'll post tomorrow.  Otherwise I'll see what I can do next week.

Thursday Thoughts - Medical Responsibility

   A friend of mine who went into medicine posted this article on his facebook wall today.  It's an article from the New England Journal of Medicine about how doctors are getting too far into just testing everything out the wazzoo to avoid missing things, upsetting people, and liability issues later.  The article makes a point about how expensive and wasteful this is and also the tests can be invasive and time consuming.  The United States is ranked 21st in the world for medical care (I did not know that) so we aren't doing a good job and our people are unhealthy due to their own decisions and possibly lack of education on health.
   I would like to see more people in the United States concerned about their health and the health of those in their community.  I would like to see people out walking and getting more active.  I would like to see more people growing gardens and fruit trees and sharing what they grow with each other.  I don't want to see government regulations on these things because it takes the burden of responsibility away from the people.  I don't want to see government health care because it takes choice, responsibility, and options away from people and health care providers.

Thursday Thoughts - Thoreau

...I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life... Henry David Thoreau

Thursday Thoughts - Family

A second cousin of my husband found me on the internet and we have been exchanging family history and family currently information.  I had to try to explain some of the issues with my husband's family deciding not to speak to each other for a couple of decades and then carrying out that plan.  I recently met one of Jared's brothers on facebook (first time I had ever made contact of any kind with him and I've been married to Jared for more than a decade).  Jared has one sister I still have yet to meet or talk to as she has nothing to do with the family.  So anyway, this cousin asked if I knew the names of Jared's first cousins (his father's only brother's children).  Nope, no clue.  Jared doesn't know either.  This is NUTS!  I can name like a hundred of my cousins (yes, I actually have that many, it's a big family) and even the ones I have never really gotten to know I still have names and addresses for.  Jared has ONE uncle and spoke to him the first time a few years ago when I found the uncle on the internet.  At least the internet cousin was understanding, he said his father was the same way with his uncle so maybe it's an inherited trait in their family.  Whatever.

Thursday Thoughts - Princesses

I read an article in Parents Magazine about how the whole princess thing has gotten out of hand.  Too many little girls are being sold the whole princess package and being taught that they are supposed to be all about the accessories.  I could see the point of the author.  I have met more than one parent with spoiled little kids who believe they "deserve" everything and are their parents little prince or princess.  That sense of entitlement ruins people.  Work and earning what you get are such important concepts in life, even small children can learn to earn things by doing small chores.  I let my kids have a few princess toys, I want them to be able to imagine a happy ending, but I also talk to them about right and wrong and give them plenty of opportunities to help around the house.  Good values come in a lot more handy than glass slippers.  I don't buy the whole anti-womens-lib aspect of princesses, most of us have kissed a frog and turned into a real girl by the time we're big enough to be getting liberated and whatnot so I'm going to let my girls play princess while they can.

Thursday Thoughts - Half Baked by Stevenson

    I know, I know, I talked about this on Monday, but Half Baked by Alexa Stevenson is still very much in my thoughts.  I finished the book.  It's a "tragedy with a happy ending" and aside from some profanity that may not have been entirely necessary to make her points, I found it strongly meaningful.  I laughed and cried, sometimes over the same few words.  I'm still not sure if I liked the book, I know I don't want to read it twice, as it brought all kinds of anxieties bobbing to the surface of my mind like little bits of flotsam from a ship I sank long ago.  I remember when I was younger I would work out the long chains of horrible events likely to occur in the near future similar to, but much more dire than, the If You Give A Mouse A Cookie type books.  It's good to know I'm not the only one who somehow left that behind by having children.  Now I don't have to imagine it, stuff just happens.  I can be grateful that all five of mine have been of the "shaved sharpei" variety; I'll never be able to squelch that little giggling voice chanting 'shaved sharpei' when I see a healthy baby (I'm already wrestling with it over my cuddly five month-old) as it's a little too apt.

Thursday Thoughts - Cicero quote hoax

   "The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance."
    From Snopes.com I found out that Cicero probably never said this, Cato may have said something like it, but the quote really comes from a work of fiction:
In a letter to The Chicago Tribune (20 April 1971), John H. Collins, Professor of History at Northern Illinois University, reported that the quote actually originated in A Pillar of Iron (1965), Taylor Caldwell's fictionalized account of the life of the senator Cicero.
    I have to say that the popularity of the quote does make a point about the parallels between the collapse of Rome and the government of the United States today, people are spamming it around because it sounds like a modern-day Tea Party Republican talking.  I also think some comparisons can be drawn between pre-Hitler Germany and the US today.  Added to this, you can find a lot in common with our economy and the economy of Argentina just before their economic collapse.  Most of the people were in the same state of denial as Americans today.  I have a degree in history, I don't get a lot of use out of it these days but I would like to get it out and wave it around a bit on this one.  Our country is in trouble, history is repeating (as it so often does) and our citizens need to wake up and become aware.

Thursday Thoughts - Half Life by Farooki

   I just finished a book called Half Life by Roopa Farooki.  The first chapter kind of got to me because of the way the woman described herself, bits of it resonated with me and when I see the negative parts of myself through this kind of resonance it's good for me but it kind of shakes me up as well.  I'm not sure if that makes sense...  By the end of the book the themes are forgiveness and letting go, kind of a "truth will set you free" message.  Basically the woman leaves her husband suddenly one morning because she is desperate to find some peace and a resolution to a tragic part of her past.  She travels half way around the world and in trying to make peace with her past she sets life straight for another person also involved in the tragedy.  (Spoiler follows!) Then, at the end she goes back to her husband with so many things resolved that she can finally admit to him things that she has been keeping back for their whole marriage.  It's a sad book but it's got good insight and I couldn't put it down.  It does have a few swear words and some adult content; for those who are sensitive to them probably not one for your reading list.

Thursday Thoughts - Modesty

   People today have lost touch with values, decency, and living right.  Political correctness and laissez faire attitudes have created a people living at the lowest common denominator.  Most of us have a basic idea of right and wrong but anyone caught using this knowledge is vilified or labeled as 'out of touch with reality'.
   We desperately need a return to modesty in all its forms -  http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/modest
   I was in a nice restaurant on New Year's Day and the woman ahead of me going into the dining room was wearing jeans with multiple holes in them.  She was neither slender nor young and while the jeans were obviously part of her designer wardrobe it was immodest in many ways;  I could see bits of her behind that I didn't want to be exposed to, she'd spent way too much on a fashion trend that will soon pass, and she was drawing a lot of attention to herself (I'm pretty sure my reaction wasn't the only negative one).
   Another example, I have a niece in her early teens who posts profanity to her online social network pages.  I have asked her not to post foul language because my young children like to read their cousin's posts.  This young woman replied that I need a "reality check".  I have blocked her posts but I have not removed her as a friend, she's a teenager after all, they aren't the best at reality.
    Resist the temptation people!  Modest dress, modest spending, modest speech, modest appearance!  Use the brain you have been blessed with and realize these choices will benefit you in the long run.
    There are not enough police in the world to control a population who no longer respect values and laws of society.